Lonely in London: 20 Ideas
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We put on a brave (and very attractive) face, but we too have known what it is to be lonely in London, what feels like the default urban condition. Saying ‘wagwan?’ to a stranger can feel like the hardest thing in the world.
One solution is to do something you like doing in the hope that the other people who like doing the thing that you like doing are people you might get along with. This is a varied selection of events, groups and places that we’ve found to be arms-open affairs, ripe for making pals.
1. Grow your friends organically
A gardening and communal space, Grow Elephant are always looking for new volunteers to join the gardening gang, with one public access volunteering session every week alongside gardening workshops, film screenings, talks and live music. Quite simply, only good sorts make it down here - you'll fit right in.
2. Find your intellectual equal
A book club might have you thinking of cardigans, cords and 'My First Erotic Novel', but Rebel do it slightly different. They cover a different non-fiction read each month, touching on all types of topical social issues with recent reads including Blockchain Revolution; Why I'm No Longer Talking to White People About Race; and How Not to Be a Boy. Sharing values on gender, race, happiness, utopia and veganism? The bedrock of any new friendship.
3. Running with friends
The clue is in the name - you could be part of a tribe (not to be confused with a cult). Making conversation during the run is not advised, especially when you inevitably get out of breath after the first 30 meters, but the runs typically precede some food or drink. Tribe are Dojo favourites but there are plenty around town which cater to almost all speeds.
4. Think of the karma
Arts charity Magic Me supports elderly communities in all sorts of lovely ways doing things like theatre productions and, our favourite, cocktails in care homes. They have monthly meet ups where you'll be able to do some real good whilst also meeting some friendly folk just like yourself.
5. Go back to school
It was easy to make friends at school (or at least that's how we're choosing to remember it), so let's go back. Southwark Adult Learning Centre have reasonably priced and extensive evening courses in all kinds of crafts: from woodwork to creative writing to oil painting. Sat next to someone who is similarly struggling to thread a needle is a shortcut to friendship if ever we saw it.
6. Organised Fun!
Who the heck doesn't like organised fun? Rabble bring together grown-ups to play traditional playground games - the kind of good, clean fun you had resigned to the past. The idea is simple: have some fun, do something healthy, meet some nice peeps. There are games across LDN on weeknights and weekends, and the sessions always end at the pub.
7. Dinner for schmucks
This one will take a little bit of courage, we admit, but Little Blue Door (formerly yellow) offers a communal dinner party leading into drinks and then games: the poster-boy formula for forming friendships/conducting swinging parties. The organisers are very welcoming and everyone there is there to mingle; be brave and you may well be rewarded.
8. A little live music
An event to warm the cockles, Daylight Music is something of an institution: a free, weekly Saturday afternoon event in Islington's Union Chapel that combines a beautiful setting with diverse music, homemade cakes and tea out of a mug. You'll find a friendly, diverse crowd who are very easy to chat to, provided you're not talking over the music.
9. Cruise in a convoy
Before you begin envisioning lycra-clad macho men screaming through the London streets tanked up on pints, fear not: this cycling community group is a lot more laid back and relaxed than all that. In short, it's a group of friendly people who love cycling and want people to do that with.
10. Let your hands do the talking
These drop-in classes (on Wednesdays and Thursdays) are BYOB affairs and pretty darn social - the instructor has even been known to smoke the devil's lettuce. Despite how people might appear, none of them are on course to be the next [insert famous potter's name]; everyone is in the same, slightly wonky clay boat. Although that sounds like it's going to sink.
11. Join the do-gooders
Another running group, but this one is slightly different. Good Gym stop off on their runs to do physical tasks for community organisations and to support older people with visits and tasks. For those out there with that level of virtue (yes, you!), this fits the bill.
12. Shake a leg
Stood mere millimetres away from a stranger whilst you stand clumsily on their toes is a fast-track past formalities. Swing Patrol put on their swing dance classes all over town and cover all levels. It takes a little work to get past the initial cringe, but once there you'll release all inhibitions. Nobody really looks cool swing dancing and that's the perfect leveller.
13. Feisty Feast
One for the ladies, as Feisty Feast aim to build female communities via an evening of talks from badass female speakers and the sharing of a big ol' veggie feast. Events take place every month or so and tickets are £49 which, when you consider the talks, food and potential of finding life-long friendship, seems okay.
14. Adult swim
Swim Dem Crew is a rapidly growing inner city swimming club with those much sought after family vibes coursing through its veins. It fulfils several very noble functions, helping people lose their fear of the water, battle loneliness and improve mental health. Swims take place on Monday and Saturday.
15. A shared journey
There's something about sitting in a pitch black room with a load of strangers that somehow bonds, much like a shared acid trip. Pitchback Playback put on listening sessions in the dark, playing a classic record (past editions have included Tame Impala, Beyoncé and Frank Ocean) on high quality speakers. This is a pleasant thing to rock to on your own, and reflect upon with someone else afterwards - provided they don't run off.
16. Stare at a stranger naked
Some life drawers are a little stand-offish and elusive, doing their finest silent-genius routine. Plenty of others are not, though, and Soho Life Drawing is a supportive place suitable for experienced drawers and novices alike. Their drop-in class run by the hour every Monday between 6.15pm to 9.30pm and cost from £8 for members to £12 for new comers. To get past small talk, simply laugh at your prospective friend's drawing.
17. Climb a wall
Despite being a solitary quest, bouldering is a super social sport and boulderers are famously friendly types. Roll down to a place like Bermondsey's Arch on a Saturday, take an introductory course and then go about it, chatting to people on the mats in-between climbs. Before you know it, you'll be sinking post-bouldering lattes in the cafe every week.
18. Bond over music
Instores at record shops are, in our experience, good places to find like-minded pals - someone into the same music as you should be on the level. Love Vinyl in Haggerston put on regular instores within the realms of funk, disco and soul. Bop down here and flick through their excellent vinyl collection; start a conversation with a stranger about music. Before you know it, you'll be stumbing out the club together at 3am.
19. Take it to the beach
As anyone who's been on a beach knows, a game of volleyball is a verified unifier. A trip to the Costa Del Leyton gets you to Sideout Volleyball: a social place with a range of sessions which are ideal for meeting people, playing a bit of vollers and then bonding in the clubhouse afterwards over a piña colada.
20. Join the eco-warriors
Join those fighting the good fight by volunteering with FoodCycle, which takes surplus food from supermarkets, sets up in spare kitchen spaces across London and makes tasty, nutritious meals to serve to those in need. At the time of writing there are 11 hubs in London - check their website to find your closest.
Shout out to Meet Up
